b'Life with MSAABBuurrddeennoorraaBBlleessssiinngg??LLeeaarrnniinnggttoobbeeaabbeetttteerrssttuuddeenntt,,wwiiffee,,aannddmmootthheerruussiinnggMMSSBy Ashley Peterman IIINever in this life did I think I would havespace. This allows the medicine to be delivered a chronic disease that would force my body todirectlytomyspinetohelpreduce the lose sensation and ability to walk, or feel likespasticity caused by MS.a Janelle Monae dirty computer reference.This disease is uncompromising. If MS were Because of relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis,a person or thing, I would label it diabolical. I I have two devices implanted throughout myhave done a lot of ghting for my freedom. body and more than ten signicant symptomsFor my independence. I constantly nd myself to aid them. My urologist informed me thewrestling with this disease and wondering if RRMS has doubled the size of my bladder,I should keep ghting or give up. I used to walk, andthenervedamagetomybrainhasand now, I am in a wheelchair because of severe caused me to lose the ability to feel when Inerve damage. I have a Baclofen pump to control need to go. my endless spasms that knock me out of my The rst device I use is a battery that assistswheelchair daily, and yet I am conned to my in regulating my output of urine. The devicewheelchair because my legs have lapsed. I is implanted in my butt cheek and allowswoke up one day from a nap with my left leg me to ensure I do not urinate myself, as Iparalyzed. My leg was inoperable; doctors ran can monitor it with a computerized device. Iftests, not knowing what sickness or effects I start to use the restroom on myself, I increasecaused my legs to immediately stop working. the settings of the controller, which triggersThis goes to say the effects of this disease an uptick in my buttock region to tighten upwill be crippling and demoralizing for some. and decrease my urine ow.The chronic pain, the leg spasms, depression, The second device is a baclofen pump.anxiety, an enlarged bladder (twice the size Because I have been in a wheelchair, my legsof a healthy individuals), and many others. It were becoming spastic and painfully thrustingtakes mind over matter; Im learning not to me out of the wheelchair. I was initially on anlet this disease defeat me. To not be easily oral medication until I was taking too many tooverwhelmed, but to react positively to over-curb the spasms controlling my paralyzed legs.come the illness that comes with this chronic This caused my neurologist to order surgery.disease.The pump on the left side of my abdomenI choose to allow this disease to teach me is attached to a catheter tube, which helpsto be a better student, friend, wife, and mother. direct the medicine directly to a specic areaI choose to allow my trials form me into being ofmyspinalcordcalledtheintrathecala blessing. msfocusmagazine.org 32'