b"Life with MSTTyyiinnggtthheeKKnnoottoorrCCuuttttiinnggBBeenneettss??EExxpplloorriinngghhoowwtthheemmaarrrriiaaggeeppeennaallttyyffoorrcceessccoouupplleessttoocchhoooosseebbeettwweeeennlloovveeaannddeesssseennttiiaallnnaanncciiaallssuuppppoorrttBy Dan DigmannIt didnt take long for Jon Andrews andhealthcare, struggling nancially together, or Melissa Smith to realize they were connectedeven opting for a legal separation. by more than just a dating app. Love is to be celebrated, not penalizedAs they sleuthed through social media,Chris Ball is a Detroit-based financial they discovered they had several mutualconsultant committed to helping families friends and both attended Central Michiganwith special needs and circumstances make University at the same time, Andrews as anshort-term and long-term nancial planning undergraduate geology student and Smithdecisions. as a post-doctorate English instructor. This(The marriage penalty) is one of the real encouraged them to take a chance on a potentialgreat injustices in the system, in my opinion, love connection.Ball said. We need a lot of advocacy and After several days of messaging on the datingattention brought to this issue so it is nally app, a 16-hour tell-all conversation unfoldedaddressed.across the app, social media, and cell phoneThrough his years of experience, Ball hasthat drained the batteries of two laptopsseen his share of marriage penalty horror and one cellphone. Toward the end of theirstories. This includes seeing several couples chat, Andrews asked a unique question inwho decided to get married, took a nancial his quest to get to know Smith better.loss, and did all they could to live below their How do you feel about breakfast? he asked.means just to keep Medicaid. Others opted to Well, biscuits and gravy is one of my favoritelive together as a committed couple rather foods, she responded.than getting married so they can keep their respective benets. One problem with the Then we should have biscuits and gravylatter option is that some people's religious at our wedding, Andrews lightheartedlybeliefs do not allow unmarried people to live commented.together.They never expected that almost exactlyBall noted, most fundamentally benets two years after this relationship-solidifyingshould not be restricted to prevent people from conversation, playful mentions of marriageenjoying life as married couples. would trigger a more serious tone whenIf you were to present this scenario to Andrews was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.most people in our country: I have this kind When it comes to living with MS, even theof medical condition, like MS, and I can't get mostcommittedandlovingrelationshipsmarried, they would say, That's outrageous, face the risk of what many call the marriageBall said. I think they would be shocked to penalty. This broad term refers to situationsknow this is exactly what happens to a large where individuals who depend on disabilityswath of our population.benetsoftenloseessentialnancialandIt's so far beyond time for anybody in our medical support if they decide to marry. As adisability community to not even have to consider result, couples are forced to make unfairwhether getting married would jeopardize their decisions, such as staying single to retainbenets. Nobody should have to go through msfocusmagazine.org 30"