b'Communicatingwith Loved Ones At times, even our closest loved onescan make us feel invisible when they donot see, understand, or appropriatelyrespond to our needs. Yet, pointing outthat your needs arent being met can betricky, because your loved ones may viewthe situation dierently.For example, sometimes a family member will inadvertently take over tasks thatyou would prefer to do yourself. They may believe they are doing whats best for you,but are actually diminishing your sense of control over your own life. Or the oppositemay happena loved one may refrain from helping with a task because they knowthat you are capable of accomplishing it. However, you may have wanted help with thattask so you can spend your limited energy elsewhere. A third possibility is that a lovedone may be completely unaware of your need, or choose to ignore them in order to see totheir own needs. In any of these situations, eective two-way communication is essentialto address the problem.Use the following guide* to develop your communication skills.Practice Good Listening Skills The rst step to two-way communication is to understand each persons thoughts,and to clarify any misunderstandings. You might start by asking why your loved one isdoing, or not doing, a certain thing. Then listen carefully to their answer. Here are threeessential tips for good listening.1. Do not multitask when listening to someone. Pay complete attention to the personyou are communicating with.2. Instruct the person to slow down, repeat, or rephrase what they are saying if you arehaving trouble understanding their point.3. Paraphrase back to the person what they are saying to you, especially if they areasking you a question or making a demand that has multiple components or partsto it. Paraphrasing helps clarify that you have heard the information correctly.Practice Empathizing with Others A cornerstone of good communication involves empathizing with others. Empathy is not sympathy. It means that you understand the perspective of another, and cancommunicate that them.For example, if you want to convey something to someone who is on the phone andyou want to interrupt, it is less irritating to the person if you precede your request withempathy, showing your understanding of their situation/ perspective. *Adapted from Clearing a Path to Better Understanding: Strategies for better communication, byFrederick W. Foley, Ph.D. published in MS Focus Magazine.6'