b'No Empathy Empathy I have to speak with you I know you are busy right now, but Ineed to tell you something The latter approach tends to encourage better listening in the person you areapproaching.So, when you are making a request or demand in which there is likelyto be a negative response, it is important you precede your request with a statementthat indicates you appreciate their perspective or situation. Another example might bea situation in which you want a family member to help you with a chore, when thatperson is sitting on the couch relaxing. Preceding the request with empathy, such assaying I know that you are relaxing now. indicates that you are paying attention totheir situation or needs as well as your own. The following sentence stems can lead to empathic statements:I know that youI can see that youI know you may feelGive Feedback about Someones Negative Behavior in a Positive Manner At times, it is important to give others feedback about behaviors they are engagingin that have negative consequences for you or others. When giving such feedback,always precede the feedback statement with empathy, indicating that you are awareof their situation. There are several important aspects to the feedback statement:First, it is important to describe the objectionable behavior in nonjudgmentalor non-critical terms.For example, if you asked several times for a family member to help with a chore,and they havent done it as promised, and you want to give feedback, the followingare some examples of critical (not preferred) and non-critical (preferred) feedbackstatements:CriticalNoncritical When you are lazy When you say you will help with [chore]several times and you dont When you lie to me all the timeWhen you promise to help me and you dont keep your promise You dont care about me When I have to ask several times foryou to do [chore], and you say you willbut you dont7'