Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 Page 9 Page 10 Page 11 Page 12 Page 13 Page 14 Page 15 Page 16 Page 17 Page 18 Page 19 Page 20 Page 21 Page 22 Page 23 Page 24 Page 25 Page 26 Page 27 Page 28 Page 29 Page 30 Page 31 Page 32 Page 33 Page 34 Page 35 Page 36 Page 37 Page 38 Page 39 Page 40 Page 41 Page 42 Page 43 Page 44 Page 45 Page 46 Page 47 Page 48 Page 49 Page 50 Page 51 Page 52 Page 53 Page 54 Page 55 Page 56 Page 57 Page 58 Page 59 Page 60 Page 61 Page 62 Page 63 Page 64 Page 65 Page 66 Page 67 Page 6830 msfocusmagazine.org Life with MS While holiday stress is a common issue, individuals with MS may be affected in different ways than the average person. Holidays are a time when people coping with MS often become especially aware of how their disease and its symptoms – particularly fatigue – change theirabilityto fullyparticipate in holiday activities. Following the onset of MS, a person’s identity, or sense of self, often changes. That is, yourview of yourself and of what is possible becomes colored by the way you think about your illness. So if you label yourself as “disabled” or cast yourself in the “sick” role, you might shy away from holiday social activities that could actually increase your happiness and well-being. For example, you might decline invitations immediately, with- out waiting to see how you feel on the day of the event, because it seems less embarrassing or impolite than making last-minute cancelations. Engaging in activities you used to enjoy can also heighten your awareness of how you have changed since your diagnosis. During holidays, you may have been someone who cleaned the house until it was spotless, even the areas that no one would see; cooked your favorite recipes two days in advance; or went all out decorating your home, turning it into a holiday wonderland. But perhaps now you have stopped altogether because, like many people, you believe that not doing an activity at all is better than not doing it as well as before, asking for help, or doing it differently. Avoiding the activity is also self-protective against potential hurtful comments from people who do not understand MS-related life changes – like the aunt who pokes the store-bought holiday pie and says, “It's a shame you don't want to bake anymore.” While avoiding embarrassment may seem worth the price of losing out on activities, the loss of contact with the important people in your life can have huge costs to your physical and emotional wellness. Isolation from others during the holidays (or at any time) – especially when related to stigma, shame, and fear of disappointment – may seem protective, but in reality you may be missing out on tremendous potential for support, compassion, and fun that can come from social interaction. In fact, too little social support can increase an individual’s Avoiding the “I Can’t” Trap When Celebrating the Holidays By Lara M. Stepleman, Ph.D., Rebecca Floyd, Ph.D., and Elizabeth D. Eldridge, Ph.D.