b"Life with MSWhat to do When Our What to do When Our Adult Children Dont VisitAdult Children Dont VisitBy Marcia HarrisAs the Support Group Programs coordinator,and brain surgery. I am still working full-time I follow many of the MS support groups onand keep pretty active, but lately I noticed I Facebook. I see posts I can relate to all the time,dont see my son as much as I used to. but this subject hit me particularly hard. I oftenOfsixkids,myyoungestbrotherlived hear how sad members are that their grownabout 11 miles from my mom and had his own children do not visit them very often. Theybusiness. He was there weekly, doing repairs wonder if it is because they have MS and theto her house, installed an air conditioner and a kids do not want to be around it. I am here togenerator, and made sure the yard was kept tell you it is not because of your MS. up.Myoldestbrotherlivedmorethan35 How often should your grown children callmiles from my mom, and had three kids and or visit you? I actually took the time to researcha demanding job. He was probably there at this and found there is no set amount of times.least once a month, but I know he called her An article I read on wisegeek.com said:often. My sister lived in the same town and Remember, there are no rules about howwas at the house all the time. The other three often you should visit relatives, whether theyof us lived out of state and visited when we are your parents or your cousins. Just try tocould.IknowIcametoNewYorkfrom base all aspects of your visits on mutual respectFloridaoftenandcalledmymomorshe and remember that no one will be aroundcalled me every day. forever. You don't want to regret not visitingMy son and I celebrated our birthdays a special relative when you had the chance.together at the end of August. In October, I My mother passed away at the age of 72,texted him and asked if he wanted to get which is only ve years older than I am now.together for dinner. He declined. I wanted to let If I said this to my son, who lives about 12him know the last time I saw him was August miles from me, he would say I am trying toand it was almost November. His response was, lay a guilt trip on him. Of course, she was aLOL. I spoke to my therapist about it and smoker for many years, had COPD, high bloodshe said I should tell him my feelings were pressure, had heart surgery, diabetes, and ahurt, so I did. I reminded him that he used to stroke. I consider myself to be in fairly goodcall me for lunch or dinner, and at one time, he health, although I have temporal lobe epilepsy,said he would take me to doctor appointments, am a thyroid cancer survivor, and had necketc., but I never bother him for those because msfocusmagazine.org 42"