b'RReellaattiioonnsshhiippssaannddDDaattiinnggwwiitthhMMSSWWhhiilleeffaacciinngguuppssaannddddoowwnnss,,r emre meemmbbeerrtthhaattyyoouuaarreeaabblleessssiinnggBy Maggie CourierIs it fair to involve someone else in yourButhow wouldMSaffectthoseplans? life if you may become a hinderance? This is aUnfortunately, I needed to put those ideas on hold question many of us may ask ourselves afterto build back my self-esteem and condence. being told that a relationship with multipleMy new goal was to focus on myself, not on sclerosis has begun.anything or anyone else. I was at my prime time of life for buildingI nttootthheewwoorrllddInrelationships and dating, but that was not theOnce I had become more acclimated to idea that Mother Nature had for me. My nerveshandling symptoms and relapses, I held my should have been rattled by nding jobs andhead up and headed back out into the world. typical dating worries, but instead, at the ripeI returned to work, determined to be the old me. age of 26, my nerves were affected by my MSBut how could I do that? Coworkers knew what diagnosis.had happened to me, and they were curious Handling this news was a challenge, butand unsure when it came to dealing with the thankfully I was not alone. I had close familynew me.and dear friends who were by my side, noSo long as my work was done, there should questionsasked,whenthissuccessful,not be a problemI could handle this. The professional, college-degreed, fun-lovingability to clearly communicate became the single woman needed something she hadstrength I would need. never seemed to need beforehelp. It was not that I was without caregivers, it was thatAs time went on, my symptoms intensied. I was not familiar with asking for help. I wasExplanations were no longer as simple. a free-spirited, independent woman, used toRelationships became a bit more difficult. How helping others, not the other way around. Butcan I explain unseen pains, spasms, loss of as my balance and gait were weakened, I foundmemory, and slurring of speech? How should I had trouble walking and needed assistance.I explain bladder and bowel incontinence? The MS became real, and fear hit me. Who willThese issues would be uncomfortable to discuss, want to be with someone dealing with MS?but I was sure I would find a way to do it. I Again, I had family and friends, but I wantedindividually spoke to others and I found that to continue living the life I had created. I wantedsome were willing to remain a part of my life, to progress in my career, which meant meetingwhile others were not able to handle the situation. new colleagues. I would certainly make newEither way, I did what I felt was right and let friends, and I wanted to date and nd romance.them learn about my life. 13 msfocusmagazine.org'