b'Life with MSTTuurrnniinnggMMSSPPaaiinniinnttooPPooeettrryyBy Dana HaymanPeople with MS can have a wide variety ofWhat a great metaphor. Like being enrolled symptoms, including some that are genuinelyin a cruel loyalty program, it seems like each new frighteninge.g., they can go blind, lose themonth, quarter, or year, I unceremoniously ability to swallow, or have nerve pain that willearn a new sh*t nugget. If I could handle each never stop. So far, Im much more fortunateone at a time, MS probably wouldnt be a big than most others with MSmy symptoms aredeal. However, I now travel with a bag lled annoyingnuisancesbycomparison.Mostwith sh*t nuggets, and carrying it everywhere noticeable to people around me, I walk like ancan be exhausting. older man whos enjoyed one too many drinks.While my symptoms are milder than those I must concentrate when I walk to ensure myexperienced by hundreds of thousands of others feet land on the intended step destinationswith MS, I sometimes get overwhelmed and and my body remains balanced. When I loseexhausted by the constant annoyance. Because concentration,Impronetostumbleandmy symptoms are always present, and I know sometimes wont move my feet fast enoughthey will never subside, they can get to me. I to catch myself. can be grumpy, snippy, sarcastic, and easily Depending on the location of the fall, theirritated by others. Im not too fond of these level of pain involved, and the presence oftraitsinotherpeople;Iespeciallydespise witnesses, the occasional falls can be eitherthem when I notice them in myself. delightfully hilarious or scary as hell. FallsShowing hope and optimismaside, the concentration required to walk and stay balanced takes effort and is exhausting.I like to have a positive vibe around me. The resulting fatigue is real. I dont need a nap;When around others, I make an effort to create instead, I need to rest, preferably on my tail andsuch a vibe. At best, my behavior sets an example something sturdy. I have other symptoms, suchfor others and becomes contagious. Lately, as numb hands; I drop things; I lose my train ofhowever, the action required consumes an thought if my concentration gets disrupted,increasing amount of energyenergy I need and I cant do the math as fast as I once could.for other things like walking. As a result, I can feel Unless Im super focused and concentrating,discouraged or down. It has become increasingly I forget things. So, I maintain a lot of lists. If Ichallenging to be up and stay up.write down your name, I dont want to forget it,One evening while feeling frustrated, irritable, and I hope you will take this as a compliment.and low, my wife (in a caring way) confronted me. The late, great comedian Richard Pryor hadShe wants to see me ght harder. She prefers MS and used to say MS stood for more sh*t.I get angry with the MS rather than show any msfocusmagazine.org 40'