b'Hot TopicsPPaarreennttiinnggDDuurriinnggTTiimmeessoffSSttrreessssoWWhhaattIIlleeaarrnneeddffrroommppaarreennttiinnggdduurriinnggaappaannddeemmiiccBy Darbi Haynes-Lawrence, Ph.D.The pandemic and the subsequent lock- how we feel, how we cope. Distress happens,downs, the need for social distancing and the andhavingcopingstrategieshelpsusgetvery real misunderstanding and labeling of through these times. thispublichealthissueasapoliticalone, What do we do during these times of stress?clearly caused an amazing amount of stress I teach a few stress theories at the university.on families across the world. People lost their One of them is Hills ABCX theory of stress. Itjobs and their homes. Food insecurity is at an is an oldie-but-a-goodie. Hill developed thisall-time high. Women are disproportionately theory in the 1950s. The theory consists of:aected by the pandemic more than men; Athe eventwhere their unpaid work has increased (e.g., Bthe resources available to the family cooking, cleaning, caring for the children), Cthe denition of the event their paid work has decreased; this is greatlyaffecting relationships and the economy. Xthe likelihood that a crisis will occur orIn sum, stress has been an unwelcome, hefty will not occur. side-effect of the pandemic for all of usAccording to this theory, when a stressfulchildren and adults alike.event happens, what determines the likelihoodStress is not unusual. Pandemic or not, all that a crisis will occur? How the family denesof us experience stress. There is good stress or views the stress, and the resources availableand bad stress. Eustress, to put it simply, is the to the family. good kind of stress. It is what gets us up and For example, imagine you experience aout of bed. Gets us moving, helps us accomplish stressful event, (A) such as a small car accident.tasks, go to work and so on. Distressthe bad But you have resources, (B) such as autokindis the stress that is so overwhelming it insurance or savings to help cover the damages.aects all facets of our lives: how we think, Because you have resources that are to bemsfocusmagazine.org 12'