b'used in such situations, you would dene this the affect on our teenagers. I have writtensituation as tolerable (C). Thus, there is no crisis before about the eect that MS and disability(X).has on my daughter. I have had MS since sheContinue imagining this same scenario. was 4. I was not disabled from the diseaseCar accident (A) but no insurance to cover the until she was 10. She is now 16. From thatdamage to the car. The family would dene time, she has carried such a burden related tothis as scary because how will the car be xed me and my disease. I hate that about thisso you can drive to work? Because there are diseasethe burdens. I would carry all ofno resources to pay for repairs to the car (B), them; what I have never wanted is for thoseand that aects getting to and from work and burdens to be put on heryet here we are.is very scary (C), that results in the family Where she could have made a choice to attendbeing in crisis (X).school during the 2020-2021 academic year,she chose virtual learning to protect me. WeAn idea behind Hills theory is preparation discussed this decision repeatedly, and everyfor crisis situations. If we have resources in time she said with armation, I will not exposeplace, that changes how we dene events, you to COVID. If I go to school, I risk beingandalterswhetheracrisisoccursornot. exposed. If I am exposed, you are exposed. IHowever, we cannot plan for every single crisis, will not make you sick. If I stay home, you aresuch as those the pandemic has created. safe. After further probing, she was terriedWhile Hills is a basic stress theory, McCubbin she would make me sick, and I would die.and Patterson developed the double AaBbCc Ive watched her closely this year becauseX model. This model refers to stress as having of the stressors the pandemic has caused.pile-up eects. Stress does not occur in a linear Our children, no matter their age, absorb andfashion, where we have one stressor, handle internalize our stress. We might see them actit, and move on to another. Of course not! If out more, or we might see less of them as theystress worked in that fashion, we most likely withdraw to their rooms for longer periods ofwould not have the phrase When it rains, it time. We might see the outgoing personalitiespours!diminishandtheirgradesdecrease. TheirWith the AaBbCc X theory, I liken it to a nesting dolls are lled with layer upon layernesting doll. Imagine you are the tiniest of of stressors. What do we do? the dolls; the one found deepest inside the Communication: We kept tabs on the stressorsset. As stressors pile-up on us one after the we were feeling, and we asked Sami aboutother, another doll, and then another doll, is hers. All the time. We checked in frequentlyadded to the set. Before you know it, one giant throughout the day, addressed any issues thatnesting doll is what is observed to the outside might have popped up, and, trust me, withworld, with layers upon layers of stressors virtual learning that was new to her and herinsidethatdoll,ruminatingandrustling high school teachers, plenty of issues occurred.about, causing increased health issues, strain As I reect on the past year, I realized weon our mental health, and so on. often had the same conversations over andWe know this pandemic has caused major over. Sami needed our encouragement, andstress on families, but we may have overlooked reminders that she was okay, everything was13 msfocusmagazine.org'