b'and that you can expect to live a long life.If you dont have the answers, thats okay, Keep the information age-appropriate and reassure them that while you may not have allallow them to ask questions. the answers you will do your best to nd out.PPaarreennttiinnggDDoossaannddDDoonnttssWhen we were pregnant with our rst child, we read all of the parenting books and madesure we followed all of the recommended best practices. By the time we had our second son,we had learned the parenting books dont always tell you what to expect when expecting.This is especially the case when one, or both parents, has a chronic condition such asmultiple sclerosis. Books dont tell you about the added stress and fatigue you may experience as a parent.They also dont draw the correlation of how these stressors can aect your MS. It is hard tofocus on self-care when most of your focus is concentrated on how to care for your child.Most of us learn these lessons the hard way, but if you ask any parent, myself included,having a child is worth it. Having learned these lessons rsthand, I wanted to share with you some of my dos anddonts of parenting with MS. Do take care of yourself rst. Many parents feel like they have to sacrice their own needsfor their children. By neglecting your own health, however, you will not have the ability tocare for your children. Do explain your needs to your children and ask for their age-appropriate help.Do say No to your children when you are not able to do something. Explain you are notsaying no because you dont want to do it but because your body will not allow you to do it. Do express your emotions surrounding your illness but explain you are feeling angry, sad,scared, etc. because of the illness. Do enlist help from family and close friends in your absence. While they cannot take yourplace, their presence will provide some comfort. Do show your children you are still capable of love and your love for them will neverchange. Dont depend on your children for adult tasks or for adult relationships. No matter howmature your child or teenager is, they are not adults. Never make your children assumethe role as your caretaker or as a parent to their siblings. Dont ever ask your children to miss school because of your illness. School should be theirrst priority and consistent attendance for children is essential to their learning. Dont be afraid to seek professional help from a counselor or family therapist if you areconcerned about your children in any way.For more on communicating with your children about MS, see the parents guide includedin the childrens book, A Conversation About Multiple Sclerosis, available free of charge fromMS Focus. Learn more at msfocus.org/Get-Educated/Educational-materials.aspx.17 msfocusmagazine.org'