b'Healthy vs. Unhealthy RelationshipsHealthy ToxicYou feel supported; the person is rooting You feel alone; the person doesnt seem for you to succeed to careYour communication is open and positive Your communication is dicult and negativeYour feelings are considered Your feelings are disregardedSpending time together reduces stress Spending time together increases stressYou have mostly positive emotions You have mostly negative emotionstoward the person towards the persondetermine whether it is worth the eort to try Decide in advance what your boundariesto repair. For example, if the relationship with will be, and express them clearly. For example,your spouse has become toxic, you will likely ifyourtoxicrelationshipiswithafamilywant to invest the time and eort to go to member, you might say, I will still be seeingmarriagecounseling.Ifyourrelationship you at family gatherings, but I need to cut outwith your former coworker Jane has become our phone calls. Or you may decide, I wonttoxic, you will probably just want to tell Jane be coming to family gatherings for the timegoodbye. being. Whatever boundaries you decide upon,If you are invested in trying to rebuild the rmlyenforcethem. Youdonotneedtherelationship, the next step is to identify and other person to agree with your decision indiscuss the negative behaviors you have order to carry through on it. The choice isobserved.Dependingonhowdicultthe yours to change or end a toxic relationship.communicationinyourrelationshiphas Seek Supportbecome, you might need to consult a professional If ending a toxic relationship is hard forcounselor by yourself for help with how to you, seek support. Aside from professionalcommunicate these issues in a constructive counselors, you will also find a number ofway, and how to assert your boundaries without online support groups for people in toxiccreating conict. If the other party is also invested relationships. (Search toxic relationship supportin saving the relationship, family or marital groups in your browser.) counseling together may also prove helpful.When the other party is not invested in And after you end a toxic relationship, dontimprovingtherelationshiporyoudonot forget to lean on or seek out new healthyvalue the relationship enough to make the relationships in your life. Remember, thoseeort, the best choice is to be kind but honest. positive relationships are good for your health.Its okay to say, I still care about you, but I Give them extra attention and reap the benets,dont feel like our relationship healthy for me. now that youve cut the toxic relationshipsI need to step away.out of your life.The Big Red FlagsThis article discusses subtle forms of toxic relationships. If you are experiencing relationshipviolence in the form of physical, verbal, or mental abuse, please seek immediate help. Call theNational Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org21 msfocusmagazine.org'