b'IIttIIssnnttYYoouurrFFaauullttWWhheennFFrriieennddsshhiippssFFaaiillBy Marcia Harris I read a post by a member of a large support called her cell and a man answered. When Igroup on their Facebook page. She asked if any asked for her, he said she wasnt available butof the group had experienced losing friends he would tell her to call me. She never called.since their diagnosis of MS. She expressed It was so unlike the person I had come to knowsadness that it seemed the friends she used toshe was strong, independent, would neverhave are no longer around, especially some of have let a guy answer her cell phone and wouldher close ones. She wondered if it was because always call me, no matter the time. Repeatedshe has multiple sclerosis, or was it just her or calls and emails went unanswered.something she did. Many people commented Heartbroken, and feeling it must have beenthat they had the same thing happen to them. something I did, I talked to a therapist aboutIts sadly not uncommon for people diagnosed it. She asked me about her history and I toldwith MS to experience loss of friends or family. her that my friend had ed a physically abusiveManyfriendsaresupportiveatrst,but relationship with her son many years ago.sometimes those friendships seem to decline. Then she settled into marriage of convenienceSure, it may be because you are not physically of sorts, which is when I met her. The therapistable to party all night like you used to or play the said it sounded like perhaps my friend hadsports you did, but those things often change entered into another controlling relationship.with age as well. Maybe there are other reasons. She explained sometimes this happens andWhen my special needs adopted son was in it was nothing I did, but something my friendpreschool, the mom of one of his classmates might be going through.and I started hanging out. The class they were While my case diers from many of you, Iin was specically for children with special needs share it with all of you who think your MS isso we had much in common. We also knew that making you lose your friends: maybe youreven though we were both married, we were friends are going through some things of theirthe people who were the caretakers of these own. Do not feel it is something you did or itkids. Both working full time, it was also a is because you have MS. I know the sayingfull-time commitment juggling their special goes You dont get MS until you get MS, butneeds, our jobs, our husbands, and trying to having any chronic illness such as MS requiresmake time for ourselves. We became close youtoadaptbothphysicallyandsocially,friends, doing everything together, sharing which includes making new friends. Someour stories, our deepest secrets.friends will be there forever, and you will alsoWe both divorced and she started seeing makenewonesalongthewayasIhave.someone new. She and I maintained our close Manyofusndnewfriendsinplaces werelationship for a time. Then things changed. dont expect. If your friendship didnt workI would call and not get a call back. Once I out, maybe it wasnt meant to. If you feel the need to talk, please consider joining one of the many support groups that arealiated with MS Focus. Email supportgroups@msfocus.org. We are always here for you.45 msfocusmagazine.org'