b"For example, in our relationship, we had the mindset makes a huge dierence in how youconversation early on that when Jennifer is approach watching out for Number 1.struggling to cut her food or feed herself Look for the positives and givebecause of her MS-weakened hands and arms, some gratitudeshe will ask for help when she needs it. Sure,its frustrating for Dan to sit back and watch Its hard to be gracious when you don't feelher struggle, but its equally as frustrating well and when you feel like the world is out towhen he steps in and takes away Jennifers get you. This isnt the kind of life youplannedopportunity to accomplish something on her to have. Neither of us wanted MS either, butown. This is why its important to talk about wewereandstillaredeterminedtoit. Be honest. Be empathetic. make the best of every situation. Lets face it,Remember youre all on the same team if we had shut ourselves out from the rest ofThings don't always go the way we want the world, we never would have met eachthem to when were living with MS. If they other and made our life together, in spite ofdid, we wouldnthaveitintherstplace, having MS. Embrace, both literally andright? So we deal with it. And sometimes our guratively, the people you have at your sidesignicant other, family members, or friends in your life with this disease. Let them knowinterfere with their unsolicited help and how much their continued support means tounwelcomed advice. Sigh. However, remember you. Surround yourself with positive peopleDan wanting to help Jennifer with her food? who understand what youre going through.He wasn't trying to be annoying. He wanted MS isnt contagious, but positivity and gratitudeto help. This is why, in similar situations, its are. Get the party started with a smile andimportant to take a step back and stop seeing make the most of what you and your spouse,your partner, family, or friends as competition caregiver, doctors, family members andthat want to hold you back. You all are members friends can do together.of the same team, in a collective competitionwith MS, not with each other. Realize that self-care isnt selshAs much as weve talked about empathyand understanding from your spouse, friends,and family, it is necessary to make your ownself-care a priority. You cant eectively stayahead of MS if you arent at your strongestemotionally, mentally, and physically. Taketime for yourself to meditate. Listen to music.Do yoga. Get a massage. Go to the gym.Stopapologizing to yourself for being selsh. Bytaking care of yourself rst, you are helpingyour partner. This small change alone in your23 msfocusmagazine.org"